A cry for help

I have not blogged for some time as I have been bogged down with work! And now when the clouds have finally cleared, my companion for life is nowhere near. Now, I remember his refrains….Ones that used to irritate me when he voiced it but now, holds true. He used to say, “You don’t know how lucky you are…to have someone like me who dotes on you.”
Well, the doting used to get irritating at times, like when work got a bit overwhelming and classes got a bit tough, when kids were proving to be unbearable, when I wanted to talk to someone else other than him,…well, such instances were more and left me little time to devote time to this ‘man in my life’ which in effect left him fuming…
But now, when he has left for an official trip abroad, I find it difficult to handle the absence. The house is empty, the bed bare (not literally) and the silence (punctuated by the shrieks of the two imps) too long…
But the kids seem to be enjoying themselves…they were always naughty, now they have become more like terrorists, landing on me with a bump, hitting my nose in their fights and running havoc in the house. They think of me more in terms of their capture than their mother and even get me to dance for their fav numbers (I enjoy that bit, though…)
They have laid siege of our bed and sleep on either side with me as if blocking all ways of escape. At night, one throws an arm over while the other kicks me, the younger one pulls at my lips and the elder ones bones poke me in sensitive areas…
I will never complain of my husband or his wandering hands anymore, I vow!
Screaming obscenities, (the ones that they know) they make me run around for peace in my own house and when I scream at them, I can feel the loops stretching…the elastic limit has reached…the boiling point is nearing….I might burst any moment now…Help…

Half Century

And finally, the 50th blog. I never thought this would grow beyond the second or the third one, so this is an instant to be proud of. When colleagues hit the 50th and then soon the 100th blog, I used to wonder, God, these talented gals, how do they do it?
This also seems to be the perfect time to show off my next award, one which was waiting for me behind the curtains, from Deeps and Just call me A…

This award was crafted with love, sprinkled with loads of peace and added with lots of prayers.


So I take a bow! (Is that the echo of claps that I hear! )

Hail Blogging!

Blogging in Wikipedia is a Web site, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.

Blog to me:
A diary of sorts, where I can pour out my happiness, my frustrations, my thoughts, where I contemplate on my shortcoming, lay my dreams bare, recount my memories, share it with a select sensitive few.
But lately, I am bugged by this new fixation…on checking for comments, so much so that it has become an addiction of sorts…
That’s makes me think…Am I so desperate for appreciation?…and why?

Blog to my husband:
The wife’s ‘time pass’ fixation, which he scoffs on, yet is proud about. He calls it an entire waste of time but reads it word to word, even asks why he is not mentioned in it, in places he thinks he should be!

Blog to my kids:
One is too young to worry while the other worries constantly if her mom is writing about all the times she has been ‘bad’ while she helps me in her own silent way...

Blog to my colleagues:
We lightheartedly comment, ‘Beware of what and how you react, you never know, you could be blogged about too.”

Blog to near and dear ones:
Another form of being in touch – of being reminded of those memories, long forgotten. Brushing aside the dust and revisiting the good old days…

Blog to those who peep and go away:
Whew, another self righteous female, pompous and so full of herself! There is nothing new here…lets move on! Just another of those who like to lay bare personal musings!

Blog to other blogger friends:
Another of our peers, and hey lets recognise this endeavour, for we know it is not a simple effort, to make time and to keep at it, make it interesting to all who read by adding certain elements and to keep blogging on matters that touch each one of us in our daily lives…

And where do you fit in?

Hopes...

2008 came with a bang. We had a huge party, we danced into 2008. We laughed (high on what we had drunk) and welcomed the New Year. Going back home from the party, we fought (K and I) and from then it was mostly downhill…
I went through tough times at work. Alternating from depression…and a feeling of worthlessness…and for some time, I wallowed in self-pity.
But mid-way through (thanks to Ks persistence) I emerged from those trying times…And as a result of all this, I took up a course, to fight my worthlessness, so to say, and that has been the best decision that I took in 2008.
That and this blog…which A literally forced me to do…(I had started a blog earlier but wasn’t sincere in my efforts of maintaining it) …were my real achievements of this year. But this time I had A behind, prodding till I wrote…regularly. We patted each others back and that gave me the initial push and then viola, I was writing and enjoying myself too. (I strongly believe that appreciation is the best possible way to keep one going and hence the daily checking for comments…on the blog)

2009, though, started on a low-key. No music, no dancing, no drinks, a quiet dinner with friends and home early as all of us had to be in office the next day.
But I hope the year will be good to me, help me do whatever I am doing in the best possible way, be more strict on my kids and make them a little more tame (they are getting wild, by the day, the younger one mostly and I melt when she just looks at me accusingly…when she hears my ‘angry’ tone) be more assertive and critical, for more peace at home and for that I also need to appreciate my husband more, for who else keeps sending you SMSes after 14 years of togetherness…
And I hope this year, I will loose all the flab around my tummy, which I know, is an impossible task, but yet I dream…
P.S: My nephew took this picture and isn't it is a beautiful one...though a bit desolate...but isn't life like that, lonely at times.

Marching Past

I recently went to my daughters annual day celebrations and was caught up in the excitement which seems to emanate from each of the participants, my young ones included. It took me back to my school days, about which my class mate, whom I met after a long gap of 20 years, just recently, who is also a great fan of my blogs (so he claims), has been constantly egging me to write about.
We were one of the first batches of the school so we were pretty passionate about the school. We were also in the school band, though now I feel embarrassed thinking how silly we would have looked, me clashing the cymbal and my friend, T, blowing the bugle! I used to alternate between the symbol and the flute and then it was a matter of pride for us but now when I think of the sight of me clashing the cymbal, I can’t help but laugh! Then, we were a privileged lot, we the band who always used to bring fame to the school, who had uniforms stitched every alternate year and could escape class hours for practise sessions under the hot sun! It was like a legacy of sorts, which I passed on to my sister, who also went on to become the band leader!
Of course, we had to bear the cost of the uniforms, but then the teachers would remind us, it is only those who are talented who gets chosen. (Talents for cymbal clashing! But I believed her then) So we would go home, implore, explain and then beg for the money which would be handed over after countless objections.
We had constant practises in formations and in March past and from what I could remember, we really used to enjoy all of it! The outings that we had, the competitions that we attended, the church functions, all in the heat and some even had hours of marching and long hours of waiting.
So the next time you see a band performing, don’t laugh it off, ponder on the hours of practice, the amount of money spent and then maybe even imagine me clashing the cymbal…(but I warn you, don’t laugh)

And Finally Recognition

Today is Christmas and I woke up feeling happy for no obvious reason! I drove to office listening to music I love and hummed or rather sang loudly, boldly, as I always do when there is no one to listen! I entered office and whoopee! I was greeted by the Christmas decorations in office, and I almost hugged N, the person behind this cheer, this selfless soul, about whom, I should blog later…
But coming back to the decorations, there is a brightly lit X’mas tree, balloons, festoons and small gifts for all on our desks!
Well, I put on my computer, check mails and go to blogger and there lies another surprise, an award from Deeps…
It has made my day…the efforts have paid off…
I scrounge for time to write here and sometimes when I find the time I lack in ideas. Accepting my award I want to thank all my faithful readers, firstly my family, who have become my loyal readers, K for checking everyday whether I have scribbled anything about him, then friends who read and comment and then other blogger friends who so loyally read and encourage and here I want to thank Deeps and Reflections for the comments, because, honestly, ultimately it is the comments that you look forward to, when you sign in everyday! And both of you are so generous with them and it motivates me to write more...
Here is the award:

This award is given to a blog that invests and believes in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind of bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.
I pass this on to three bloggers whose blogs I try not to miss…
Umm Oviya
I,ME,MYSELF
And
Reflections

I also wish to pass on the award to one more blog which has huge potential but due to the responsible job of feeding and taking care of my sister, this blogger cannot dedicate much of his precious time to this world...
Error(b)log

This is Heavenly...

Imagine…
Waking up to the sounds of chirping birds and the occasional shriek of crows
To temple bells tinkling rhythmically
Sniffing whiffs of strong and freshly brewed coffee
And drinking it from your favourite easy chair
Stretching out comfortably and gazing out at nothing in particular
Dreaming of the rest of the day spent in pure laziness…
Till interrupted by urgent calls from your little devils…

Being coaxed to eat a little more and being served a lot more, lovingly…
You are forced to go to bed to give your tired bones some respite!
The kids being admonished for troubling you
For taking long naps when the sun is shining down
Forget the process of cooking
To remember it only when it is time for your meals!

Where else is all this possible, but at Home…
Who tends to you like you are a kid once again, but your Mother…

P.S: Thats my fav 'charukaserra' or Reclining Chair...