Blogging is a habit. If you are out of it, it loses significance, it grows smaller and smaller in the context of the rest of everything you are doing...
I loved it when I was doing it constantly and am falling out of love since I am not so regular, now.
I loved the freedom it offered me and now am hesitant of the same freedom and feel it restricting me.
The same incidents that seemed like issues to blog about seem too trivial to even think of being written or blogging about.
I know I will go back to loving it once I give free rein to my fingers and thoughts....till then I tinker about with half finished ideas and thoughts that loose significance once I open my blogger page.
This New Year has been different, very controlled, small scaled, with close friends who matter, a huge change from the loud celebrations we normally had...
But this change has made me feel so good within, happy about the few friends I have, cherish the little gestures I receive. Talk openly about things that matter without being judged. Talk normaly about my job and the people I come across, not to keep them under wraps to make me fit in with the rest, which was the case earlier.
There is a part of me that still misses all the hallabulla, mostly for the kids than for me, but well, I can live with that.
More than anything I am happy being myself, be it alone or with company, maybe I have finally found peace with the self, a sort of understanding of the person I am. I have finally realised that I can never be what others want me to be, and that realisation makes me feel happy and feel complete!