Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It is all about Me

Blogging is a habit. If you are out of it, it loses significance, it grows smaller and smaller in the context of the rest of everything you are doing...
I loved it when I was doing it constantly and am falling out of love since I am not so regular, now.
I loved the freedom it offered me and now am hesitant of the same freedom and feel it restricting me.
The same incidents that seemed like issues to blog about seem too trivial to even think of being written or blogging about.
I know I will go back to loving it once I give free rein to my fingers and thoughts....till then I tinker about with half finished ideas and thoughts that loose significance once I open my blogger page.
This New Year has been different, very controlled, small scaled, with close friends who matter, a huge change from the loud celebrations we normally had...
But this change has made me feel so good within, happy about the few friends I have, cherish the little gestures I receive. Talk openly about things that matter without being judged. Talk normaly about my job and the people I come across, not to keep them under wraps to make me fit in with the rest, which was the case earlier.
There is a part of me that still misses all the hallabulla, mostly for the kids than for me, but well, I can live with that.
More than anything I am happy being myself, be it alone or with company, maybe I have finally found peace with the self, a sort of understanding of the person I am. I have finally realised that I can never be what others want me to be, and that realisation makes me feel happy and feel complete!


Smita said...

You know I was undergoing the similar thoughts about blogging!!! At one time I used to blog about anything & everything but lately had started thinking this is so trivial to even talk about!

But as u have yourself said, the day I wrote a post I started feeling more & more that I am back in the business :) every small incident these days looks worth blogging ;-)

Hope u get back in the groove soon :)

And we also had a quite New Year! I hate the hohalla!!

Anonymous said...

we often feel there is safety/comfort in numbers. but the i guess real comfort is in the type of people... nice heartfelt most. and let others not decide who you are or how you act

Solilo said...

"I loved it when I was doing it constantly and am falling out of love since I am not so regular, now"

Sindhu, this was the exact same lines I told a friend yesterday. I am slowly getting bored of this virtual world. She threatened to kill me if I ever thought of locking my blog. I won't lock but the interest is fizzling out and not finding much time to comment or reply either. I finally thought to give myself a push again. :)

Deeps said...

I'm going through a phase that you've mentioned here. There was a time when anything and everything that happened around me would find a space in my blog.

But now I dont feel that charged up to write anything. Maybe,like you said if I let myself go and give a release to my thoughts and fingers I might go back to loving it again.

BTW,is it Singapore in the header pic? Lovely header :)

Reflections said...

"Blogging is a habit. If you are out of it, it loses significance.."

U bet...I'm a creature of habit and after I came back from vacation in August I have never quite got back into the groove again. For almost 2-3 months I forced myself to post every week co I knew if I let it go I'll never get back on track. Sometimes I think if I had shown half this interest in my studies I'm sure I'd have got distinction;-/

Dont let the gap between ur post become very big. I for one thoroughly enjoy ur posts and look forward to reading them:-)

sindhu said...

Hi All,
I know, we all seem to be going through a low phase in the virtual world. But you guys are my inspiration...Umm, Reflections all of you...so keep writing and inspiring lazy bloggers like me to come out of their lethargy.
(Mine is not just lethargy, mind u...I am writing for my job, my classes and then this becomes lil difficult)
But I feel short blogs should be our focus now, like the picture led but interesting one Umm, recently put up...

Anonymous said...

OMG I am so amazed to find many others feeling the same way. These days I allow myself to be distracted easily, by things that take me away from the blog world...
And then some other things seem too trivial to blog about :( I am glad I am not the only one who is feeling this way!
I guess a short break or less time spent blogging is a good idea, but locking the blog is not!

soul speaks said...

Hi Sindhu, I totally felt the same way this new year,not about blogging but about the relations, being with friends being true to one self and being comfortable about what you are.
take care

Elizabeth said...

sindhu, this is so nicely written, and so true!! i love your blog :). i, too, often worry that what i write is too trivial...but a blog is as much for you to sort out your feelings as it is for the public, i guess :) if it makes you happy, it's a success.