Monday, June 1, 2009

I am officially the mother of a ‘grown-up’. And it hurts.
It hurt when I saw her large beautiful eyes widen in deep amazement and shock at her first sight of this unwelcome monthly visitor.
...when I think she is just 11, a kid, now, tomorrow and always to me...
…when I saw tears welling up in her eyes as I explained this will be a monthly ritual that will go on for years to come.
…when I see her trying to hide her growing panic at the unexplainable pain she endures
…when she asks me every hour when this will get over
…when she implores me to not tell her father about this change in her…
It hurts when I think she can’t be that carefree, sports loving, out going, innocent little girl of mine, who can only sit with her legs up.
But I will make her understand, that this does not hinder her in any way, in any of her activities… (though I don’t think it is fair at all that we have all the pain and the ‘unfair sex’ has all the fun)
On the flip side, I can see the beginning of a deeper bond…of mom and daughter, me and her, as both of us stand huddled in the bathroom, with me talking to her about experiences that are far worse than hers. How she comes to me just to talk, to put her confused mind to rest, to share her fears and how when she fervently swore that in her next birth, she wants to be born as a ‘boy’ and when I agreed with her and said, “Yeah, me too!” and we looked at each other and smiled our secret smile…I can see the bond blooming…and I hope it will grow stronger. Touchwood.
And not far behind the doors there is a pair of investigating eyes, those of my younger ones, who is trying hard to understand why we are sharing too many bathroom secrets…

14 comments:

imemyself said...

i can see so much ok K... hug her tight on my behalf...
and N (outside)with her doubting eyes...

Renu said...

I know how uncomfortable it feels, but later on we know that this makes us special, its onlywe who can give birth and have that special bond.
Even boys have to shave evryday:)

Just call me 'A' said...

ohh your little girl is a yound lady now :). congrats to her :).

Solilo said...

Oh! this reminded me of my shock when I got it at 11. I felt different because most girls of my age didn't get it then.

{{{Tight hugs}}} to your sweetie pie from this auntie.

Enigma said...

ahh bay girl is grown up, congrats on that... I guess its a pinful thing for parents to let go... Ahh children grow up so fast na... here i'm expecting my first lill one and wondering wat life has in store...

Reji said...

Lovely blog, Sindhu. Reminds me of my younger days.
Was also thinking that i may not face such a situation having 2 "boys".

Continue blogging.

indyeahforever said...

This was beautifully written ..you couldnt have handled it any better...reminded me of my mom and me :))


(((hugs))for your little princess :))

sindhu said...

Ya,A, I remember your pangs a year back...
Renu, don't tell me, discomfort is just one part of the process...But isn't it easier for boys!
Thanks A..i DON'T FEEL VERY HAPPY, THOUGH!
Yes, Solilo, I am constantly telling her stories of other's far worse condition...now.
Thank you Reji, Engima, have more friends now, welcome and have to read up on now!
Thank you Indeyeah!

Winnie the poohi said...

I happened t get it later than anyone! and besides I had my sisters experience to learn from.. ah.. my sister.. now she had it bad :)

Varunavi said...

I have to make myself prepare of all these as i have two daughters and have to make them understand
Very well written sindhu,it touched my heart.Hugs to ur little lady.11 years is too early but i am sure mom like u will make her feel comfort and cared for.

Deeps said...

I can understand how K must have felt.I went through those gamut of emotions when I got my jolt the first time.Thankfully the jolt was not that strong as I had already been well prepared by Amma the previous week(what timing!).But the tears and apprehensions and everything,just as K!

And now I realise thers one carefree bird growing in my household too who,in a few years,will have to be faced with some harsh truths of life,herself. How unfair life can be!
Tight hugs to K:))

ummon said...

linking this on my post.

Reflections said...

Awwww...Sindhu, u've written this so well!!!!!

I frankly have no clue how to handle this when it comes. I half hope she finds out abt it[like I did] & on the other hand hope she does not coz I'm sure she'll get all wrong info from her friends;-/.

U seem to have handled it perfectly:-)!!!!!!!!!!

jaya said...

you should talk to her about the wonderful gift that nature gave her, of nurturing a human life inside her. that it is not just pain and blood, but the gift of fertility that a lot of women crave. there are bad days now, yes, but wonderful days ahead. teach her to take care of her body.. the nutrition, exercise, and mental skills needed for a healthy, happy life starts from here. teach her to look into the future, look to the newborn she may someday hold in her hands.. to eat nutritiously, to keep her body fit while she grows into adulthood. to think about others' opinions before beleiving them, to be confident about her own body, to be confident about her own opinions.